Victor M. Font Jr.

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Letting Go for Your Health: How Grudges, Anger, and Bitterness Can Fuel Autoimmune Disease

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Multiple Sclerosis has been a real challenge for several of our dearly loved family members. Watching them navigate the physical, emotional, and mental toll of this unpredictable disease has opened our eyes to just how deeply health is connected to every part of the human experience—especially the unseen burdens we carry in our hearts. I wrote this article out of love and a desire to share something hopeful: that emotional healing—letting go of bitterness, anger, and pain—may not only lighten the spirit but also support the body’s ability to cope and heal.

Holding on to anger, grudges, and bitterness doesn’t just weigh on your mind—it can weigh on your body, too. Research is revealing a strong link between chronic emotional stress and physical illness, especially autoimmune disorders like Multiple Sclerosis (MS). For those already living with autoimmune challenges, emotional healing might be one of the most powerful steps toward physical wellness.

The Hidden Toll of Negative Emotions

Negative emotions such as unresolved anger, resentment, or bitterness keep your body in a heightened state of stress. While temporary stress can be helpful in survival situations, chronic emotional stress causes a consistent release of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

Long-term elevation of stress hormones can:

  • Suppress immune function
  • Promote systemic inflammation
  • Disrupt sleep and gut health
  • Increase cardiovascular strain

Scientific Insight: According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress contributes to long-term inflammation and is associated with a range of diseases, including autoimmune disorders, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes (Segerstrom & Miller, 2004; APA, 2023).

Emotional Stress and Autoimmune Disease

Autoimmune diseases like MS occur when the body’s immune system mistakenly attacks its own tissues. In MS, this attack is directed at the protective myelin sheath surrounding nerve fibers.

Research shows emotional trauma and chronic stress may both trigger and worsen autoimmune activity. A population-based study in JAMA found that individuals exposed to high levels of stress had a 36% increased risk of developing autoimmune diseases (Song et al., 2018).

Furthermore, another study in Frontiers in Immunology explains that prolonged psychological stress impairs immune regulation and enhances susceptibility to autoimmune flares by increasing inflammatory cytokines (Dhabhar, 2014).

In essence, harboring negative emotions may train the immune system to stay in “attack mode”—a dangerous state for someone with MS.

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Letting go doesn’t mean denying what happened or excusing harmful actions. It means you’re no longer willing to let someone else’s actions keep your nervous system in distress.

Practicing forgiveness and emotional release can:

  • Reduce cortisol levels
  • Decrease inflammation markers like C-reactive protein
  • Improve immune system regulation
  • Lead to better physical health outcomes

Scientific Insight: A 2006 study in Psychology & Health found that people who practiced forgiveness reported better physical health and fewer symptoms of illness (Lawler et al., 2006).

Steps Toward Emotional Freedom

If you’re living with MS or another chronic illness, and feel weighed down by emotional pain, here are steps to help you let go:

  1. Acknowledge the Hurt
    Denial won’t protect you. Naming the wound is the first step toward healing.
  2. Process the Emotion Safely
    Talk with a counselor, journal, or use art and creative outlets.
  3. Practice Mindful Relaxation
    Meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises help calm the stress response.
  4. Try Forgiveness Work
    Write unsent letters, visualize releasing pain, or explore spiritual forgiveness.
  5. Find a Support System
    Healing doesn’t mean doing it alone. Seek out trusted friends, therapists, or faith communities.

Final Thoughts

Autoimmune diseases are complex, and there’s no single cause. But your emotional state does affect your biology. Letting go of grudges isn’t about giving in—it’s about rising above. Releasing bitterness can be one of the most profound acts of self-care for your mind, your heart, and your immune system.

Your body listens to your thoughts. When you choose peace over resentment, you’re choosing healing over harm.

Sources

The FontLife Story

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Where did the name “FontLife” come from?

FontLife LogoMost assume that I came up with this meaningful single-word trademark to describe my business endeavors, but rest assured, I’m not that clever. The credit all goes to the wife of my first Pastor in Bayonne, NJ, Nancy Zeron. When we learned that Sue and I were expecting our child, whenever we saw Nancy, she would give Sue a hug and say she was “carrying FontLife.” To me, FontLife will always be a reference to our daughter Victoria and health struggles my beautiful wife faced as the pregnancy progressed. FontLife is our miracle baby. The name stuck and is not only a reference to Tori, but has become a major part of my business life.

This site is my first real website. The fontlife.com domain name was registered on July 30, 2003. It was slow going at first, but I wrote anything that popped into my simple mind just to see where it would go. Imagine my shock to learn that I actually had about 500 people a month reading my blog posts! Six years later, in October 2009, the site received over 3,000 unique visitors. Not only was that an answer to prayer, but it was an encouragement to continue writing my first book, The Ultimate Guide to the SDLC. Writing any book is hard, but writing a highly technical 400+ page tome with hand drawn diagrams, flow charts, and process maps is like scaling Mount Everest. I was frustrated and thought many times about throwing the project into the trash.

Then I prayed. I asked God to help me to understand what His will is regarding my writing. Prior to that October, I never received more than 500 unique visitors to this site. Out of the frustration over the book’s progress, I specifically asked God to send at least 3,000 readers to my site in October. I put my fleece before the Lord and He answered BIG time.

The idea of “putting out a fleece” comes from the story of Gideon, a leader in Israel, in Judges 6:36-40. God directed him to gather the Israelite troops to defeat the Midianite invaders, but Gideon hesitated. He wanted to be sure it was really God’s voice he was hearing and that he understood His directions. He asked God for a sign to prove that this was truly His will. So he put out a “fleece of wool” overnight and asked God to make it wet while keeping the surrounding dirt dry. God graciously did as Gideon asked, and in the morning the fleece was wet enough to produce a bowl of water when it was wrung out.

After God answered my prayer in October, the website traffic returned to its normal 500 or so visitors. I had my answer from God and continued writing. Since then, I have written 14 books, and manage 4 websites. One is for my book, The Ultimate Guide to the SDLC, a second is for my IT Consulting company, Victor Font Consulting Group, LLC., the third is for my publishing business, which I’m reinventing at the moment. That site is FontLife Publications, LLC. The last is this site. And I’m sorry to admit that I’ve neglected things here. It’s time for me to start writing again and ramp up the efforts.

All of these sites use the same logo, which is the image seen above on the right. No, it’s not the Alpha and Omega as some have suggested. One day, I was playing around in Adobe Illustrator and decided to try my hand at merging two letters into one. The two letters that are merged together in the logo are “F” and “L” in some symbol font. The “F” and “L” stands for FontLife.

Experience True Happiness

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Experience True Happiness

For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.—Psalm 84:11–12

One of life’s hardest lessons is learning to trust the Lord with the smallest details of our lives. It’s a lesson that can take years to accomplish, if it’s ever fully achieved at all. As human beings, we want to be in control over our own lives and we’ll go to great lengths to protect and preserve that control. But the reality is that there is very little that we can truly control. There are so many external influences that impact the direction our lives take that it’s literally impossible for us to control anything except the free will choices we make on a daily basis. Choices such as what to wear, what to eat or to sin or not to sin. Sin is always a choice.

And while our own personal choices can make for a good or bad life, it’s the external influences that can really send us reeling. Take the recession for example; which I’m not convinced is over. Did anyone of us have any control over the circumstances that caused the recession? Did the recession impact all of us in some way? How many of us lost our jobs? What about mandatory health care insurance? Or gun control? Or some of the other hot political issues of the day? Do we have any control over the way these issues may impact our lives some day? No, we don’t!

Our lack of control over the circumstances that impact our lives isn’t just isolated to the political arena. What about the weather and other natural disasters? I live in a tornado area. I had to spend over $2,000 last year to remove downed tees and repair property damage because of the wind. Insurance wouldn’t cover it because the house wasn’t damaged. Could I control the circumstances that caused the damage? Absolutely not! All I could do was watch and pray as I observed the trees start to topple and cascade across our yard. It was completely out of my control.

I lost my last full time job in information technology because of the recession at the end of 2009. Despite my numerous computer skills and talents and applying for several thousand jobs that I am qualified to do, I have not been able to find another full time job since. Did I have any control over the job loss? No, none whatsoever! Do I have any control over the hiring decisions that have kept me out of work? No, none whatsoever! Did these decisions impact my life and those of my family? Absolutely!

Over the last several years we’ve watched our bank accounts erode to almost nothing. We’ve been reduced to a 1-car family and have to carefully coordinate our activities. We’ve cut our living expenses to the minimum and done everything within our control to do what we can to survive through these tough economic times. We’ve fervently prayed as we asked God to provide for our bills, which He has always done—sometimes miraculously. But we still have questions that eat away at us. Will God provide me with another full time job? He gave my wife a job just as the unemployment got cut off last December. Will we eventually lose our house because we can’t afford to pay the mortgage? Does He still want us to live in the Triangle area? What is God’s will for our future? I don’t know the answers to these questions, but there is One who does. That is God and God alone.
When things are going great in our lives, when we’re making good money, eating good food and enjoying the finer things in life, we often forget that God is the One who is truly in control and the provider of the things that we’re enjoying. Instead, we reflect on our own self-satisfaction and ambition over the great job we’re doing and the material things we’ve accumulated, just like the rich man in Luke 12:16-21.

And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.—Luke 12:16–21

What does it mean to be “rich toward God?” From this parable it’s obviously the key to true happiness. Money, power and material things—the things that many of us think can make us rich in this life—are all temporal, meaning that they exist only in this world. But if we’ve trusted Jesus as our Savior, we have a life that extends way beyond this world. It extends throughout eternity. Sure, we can accumulate these things and think that we’re happy and in control of our lives. And when we have enough or more than enough, as the rich man in this parable, then we can retire in style. But then we discover that the final event that we have no control over visits us. We die and all that we had now belongs to someone else. This is what happened to the rich man. His problem is that he didn’t include God in his plans.

To be rich toward God, means that we’ve learned to place our trust in Him and in Him alone to control the circumstances of our lives. It means that we’ve learned to focus on putting God above our material things. It means that we’ve learned to love people above our pleasures. And it means that we look towards eternity as our true retirement home. Sometimes it takes losing everything, or almost everything, before our vision sharpens enough to see the truth of our weakness. Apart from Christ, we are nothing but dust. It is only by placing our trust in Him, that we can begin to experience true happiness.

The Christmas Refrigerator

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refrigerator.jpgMany families all over the world will open their Bibles on Christmas Day and read aloud the story of the birth of a baby boy from Luke Chapter 2 in praise of the Savior who gave us the greatest gift of all—Salvation! This is the season when we typically pause and reflect on the blessings and trials we experienced during the year. My family and I have no doubt received many blessings, but it’s also been one of the most difficult years for us trial-wise that we can long remember.

I have not had a full-time job since I was laid off due to the recession in 2009. I’ve been working some short-term IT contracts to pay the bills, but my last contract ended in July. I’ve not been able to land IT work since. I’ve applied for over 700 jobs. If one more person tells me I’m over-qualified, I think I’ll scream. I even had one person tell me that since I write IT books, I must not have a lot of real hands-on experience, just theoretical knowledge. I didn’t even know how to respond to that one.

We started a publishing business in June 2012, but if you’ve ever started a business yourself, then you know how long it can take to start producing a regular income. Our daughter is in college—an expensive college, and we’re determined to do everything we can to keep her there. As bleak as things may seem at times, God is providing tremendous blessings through it all. You may not see them as blessings, but to us, nothing could ever be greater.

So far with His help, I’ve published 9 print books and 8 eBooks for 17 books total. I’ve authored nine of the seventeen books. The last two eBooks that I wrote are adaptations of sermons that I’ve preached either at the Durham Rescue Mission or assisted living facilities. The series is appropriately called, The Message Series. Each book concludes with a clear, strong Gospel message. If you count the eBook downloads and the preaching opportunities God has given me over the past month and a half, I’ve presented the Gospel to over 600 people!! That is an amazing blessing that can only be orchestrated by God’s hand.

Waiting for God to respond to our prayers can be difficult. We’ve been praying faithfully for employment and sometimes it just seems that God is silent. But at other times, He’ll answer prayers so fast that it’s mind numbing. He did that for us this week when He responded to a supplication in a blazingly fast manner.

On Friday December 20, our 18 year-old refrigerator bought the farm. My wife gets up earlier in the morning than I do to make coffee. I’ll join her later over a cup where we’ll do our devotions together and pray to start the day. That morning, shortly after starting the coffee, the circuit breaker for the refrigerator blew. I came down and reset it. Everything seemed to be working fine and we didn’t think much more about it until late in the afternoon when the kitchen started to stink like an electrical component had been fried. The smell was coming from the refrigerator. It was still running, it was cold and the food was frozen. It was too late to call anyone to check it, so we let it go for the night and prayed the smell would dissipate by morning.

Were we ever wrong! By Saturday morning, the whole house stunk. I ran downstairs to find that the frozen food had defrosted. There was a huge puddle of sugar-free frozen chocolate pops at the bottom of the freezer. The compressor was still running, the fans were still blowing, but it just wasn’t cold anymore. I knew I had to call a repairman to find out what was going on. A couple of hours later, he pronounced the refrigerator dead. The defrost heater had shorted and burned into the evaporator coils melting them and burning the freon. That was the smell! It was burning freon. The estimated cost to repair the damage is $1,100.00! This is money we just do not have sitting around right now. Our best and only alternative is to turn to God in prayer and wait for Him to answer. We didn’t know how long we’d be without a refrigerator. We only knew we had to trust Him for the answer, but we still needed to prepare in case the answer was delayed.

Sue had done a big shopping for the holiday on Friday. We had a lot of food that now had to be cooked and/or given away. Both of us immediately thought of a dear elderly woman who had fallen onto hard times. We’ve been praying for her regularly and called her and asked if we could bring her some of the food before it spoiled. Yes, she needed it. We loaded a bunch of it into the car and drove the 25 miles to her apartment on the North end of Raleigh. We told her the story of the refrigerator and she asked if she could share our need with her church’s “Angel Recycle” program. She attends one of the largest churches in Raleigh, almost 5,000 members. Church members who purchase new appliances donate the ones they’re replacing to the recycle program to be given to families in need. We definitely qualify so we agreed to let her submit our name, not knowing if this is God’s way of providing for us or not.

It didn’t take long for the answer to come. Sunday evening we were visiting a friend’s church to watch a Christmas program that he had written. My cell phone kept vibrating in my pocket. When the play was over, I saw that I had a text message from our sweet friend saying that someone wanted to give us a 36″ refrigerator. She was getting a new one on Monday, heard of our need and offered it to us—for free!! Praise the Lord!! He answered are prayers.

Now the challenge was to get it to our house. I don’t know anyone that I could call on a Sunday night who could help get it to our place on Monday morning. So we prayed again. I knew in my heart that if God wanted to give us this refrigerator, then He had already worked out the details about how He was going to get it to us. When the new refrigerator was delivered to our benefactor, she asked the delivery men if they would bring us her old refrigerator. They agreed to do it for a very low cost. God provided again. So in the course of just a few days, our old refrigerator died, God gave us a new used 24.9 cu.ft. model, and He had it delivered and set up. What a mighty God we serve! The delivery men even carted off the old one. Our new refrigerator is definitely an upgrade from the old one. It may be 10 years-old, but to us it is a Christmas gift sent directly from God when we needed it most. We are grateful to Him!

As you reflect on our Savior this Christmas and the free gift of salvation He so desperately wants you to accept, keep this fact close to your heart, He loves you without measure and cares for the tiniest details of your life. Trust Him in all things and He will never let you down. Here are a few Scripture verses to think about today.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.—Romans 8:28

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.—Philippians 4:19

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.—1 Peter 5:6–7

Rejoice God's Christmas Refrigerator
Image Courtesy of Billy Alexander.

God’s Social Media: Prayer—Conclusion

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God's Social Media: Prayer—Conclusion
Dr. John Wilbur Chapman
Public Domain Image
We live in total dependence on God because, as believers, we sense our insufficiency throughout our lives. As long as we feel that insufficiency and depend upon God, we’ll pray without ceasing. Still, we also know we are the beneficiaries of tremendous blessings from God. That’s the very reason Paul instructed the Thessalonians to rejoice always and give thanks in everything in their unceasing prayers.

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”—1 Thessalonians 5:16–18

These verses reflect a beautiful balance in our communion with God. While we offer specific prayers for our needs and those of others, we can rejoice and give thanks at the same time—not just for His specific answers, but also for the abundant blessing He pours out to us each and every day.

Praying for the Right Things

When you pray, what do you typically pray for? If there were a survey taken in churches today on the topics most often prayed for, we would most likely discover that most prayers are often misdirected, shortsighted and selfish. We typically pray for health, happiness and success. We pray for personal comfort. We pray for solutions to remedy all the physical problems of life, such as healing, a place to live, a job, a car, a husband, a wife, our children, a promotion, more money, and so on. As important as these things are (especially to the people in need), in some respects they are very low on God’s priority list. Jesus said we are not to be anxious about what we eat, drink or wear when we know God supplies them all.

Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?—Matthew 6:25

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.—Philippians 4:19

Our priority must be God’s priority—the advancement of God’s kingdom.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.—Matthew 6:33

Paul knew what was important in the Christian life. His prayers for the saints are striking for their exclusive focus on spiritual concerns. One of his prayers in particular stands out for its simplicity and its depth:

Wherefore also we pray always for you, that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfil all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power:—2 Thessalonians 1:11

Paul often focused his prayers on the issues that would abound to the spiritual benefit of the saints. Here he has three wishes for the Thessalonians: worthiness, fulfillment, and powerful service.

Paul knew that only prayer could obtain most of what he desired for the saints. He didn’t turn to human ingenuity or some church program; he turned to God. Paul was a faithful shepherd who taught God’s people the importance of obeying His commands whenever and wherever he could. But that in itself that was never enough—he always turned to God, who alone could prompt obedience in His people. God desires to sanctify His people, and that was Paul’s desire as well. That’s why he prayed for what God wanted to accomplish in His people’s lives.

If you want to pray for one another, don’t pray for the physical necessities only—make it your priority to pray for the important spiritual issues of life because they are of the greatest concern to God. His ultimate purpose is to conform us to the image of Jesus Christ. The little tests and trials in life are important only as they reveal our greater spiritual need. God is most concerned about our response and attitude toward events that occur in our lives.

For Paul, and for any mature Christian, prayer is a permanent state of mind by which the promises and purposes of God, the spiritual well being of His people, the advancement of His Gospel and the growth of His church are passionately desired. What concerns the Lord must concern us if we truly desire to glorify Him in our lives.

Our Challenge

How important is faithfulness in prayer? Dr. John Wilbur Chapman was a Presbyterian evangelist in the late 19th Century. Dr. Chapman often told of his experience when, as a young man, he went to become pastor of a church in Philadelphia. After his first sermon, an old gentleman said to him, “You’re pretty young to be pastor of this church. But you preach the Gospel, and I’m going to help you all I can.”

Dr. Chapman thought, “Here’s a crank.”

But the man continued: “You are not a very strong preacher, I’m going to pray for you that you may have the Holy Spirit’s power upon you. Two others have covenanted to join with me in prayer for you.”

Dr. Chapman said, “I didn’t feel so bad when I learned he was going to pray for me. The 3 became 10, the 10 became 20, and 20 became 50, the 50 became 200 who met before every service to pray that the Holy Spirit might come upon me. I always went into my pulpit feeling that I would have the anointing in answer to the prayers of those who had faithfully prayed for me. It was a joy to preach! The result was that we received 1,100 into our church by conversion in three years, 600 of whom were men. As many as 300 joined at one given time! It was the fruit of the Holy spirit in answer to prayer!”

Dr. Chapman also wrote many of our most beloved hymns including One Day When Heaven (One Day):

One day when heaven was filled with His praises,
One day when sin was as black as could be,
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin,
Dwelt amongst men, my example is He.

Living, He loved me; dying, He saved me;
Buried, He carried my sins far away,
Rising, He justified freely forever;
One day He’s coming, Oh, glorious day!

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God’s Social Media: Prayer—Part 5

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God's Social Media: Prayer—Part 5
Image Courtesy of G Schouten de Jel
What is the best time of day to pray? The Scriptures show people praying:

Three Times a Day

“Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went into his house; and his windows being open in his chamber toward Jerusalem, he kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and prayed, and gave thanks before his God, as he did aforetime.”—Daniel 6:10

In the Evening

And it came to pass at the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that Elijah the prophet came near, and said, LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and of Israel, let it be known this day that thou art God in Israel, and that I am thy servant, and that I have done all these things at thy word.—1 Kings 18:36

Before Meals

And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.—Matthew 14:19

After Meals

When thou hast eaten and art full, then thou shalt bless the LORD thy God for the good land which he hath given thee.—Deuteronomy 8:10

At the Ninth Hour (3 P.M)

Now Peter and John went up together into the temple at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour.—Acts 3:1

At Bedtime

Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.—Psalm 4:4

At Midnight

And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.—Acts 16:25

Day and Night

And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.—Luke 2:37

And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them?—Luke 18:7

Often

And they said unto him, Why do the disciples of John fast often, and make prayers, and likewise the disciples of the Pharisees; but thine eat and drink?—Luke 5:33

When They’re Young

Wilt thou not from this time cry unto me, My father, thou art the guide of my youth?—Jeremiah 3:4

When They’re Old

In the first year of Darius the son of Ahasuerus, of the seed of the Medes, which was made king over the realm of the Chaldeans; In the first year of his reign I Daniel understood by books the number of the years, whereof the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah the prophet, that he would accomplish seventy years in the desolations of Jerusalem. And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes:—Daniel 9:1–3

When They’re in Trouble

And they said unto him, Thus saith Hezekiah, This day is a day of trouble, and of rebuke, and blasphemy: for the children are come to the birth, and there is not strength to bring forth. It may be the LORD thy God will hear all the words of Rabshakeh, whom the king of Assyria his master hath sent to reproach the living God; and will reprove the words which the LORD thy God hath heard: wherefore lift up thy prayer for the remnant that are left.—2 Kings 19:3–4

Every Day

Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily.—Psalm 86:3

And Always

And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;—Luke 18:1

Pray without ceasing.—1 Thessalonians 5:17

Prayer is fitting at any time, in any posture, in any place, under any circumstance, and in any attire. It is to be a total way of life—an open and continual communion with God. After having embraced all the infinite resources that are yours in Christ, don’t ever think you’re no longer dependent on the moment-by-moment power of God.

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